(* quote from this guy)
When I blogged regularly, I used to write about faith/spirituality (I’m not fussy what term you use); it was the world I moved in as a full time church minister.
I was very clear that I was not going to use my blog to ‘convert’ or ‘sell’; I’d read a few of those and I didn’t like them. Salesmanship, not being real and the concomitant shrill voice often put me off.
I’ve never been one for whom ‘faith’ comes easily: for some it genuinely does- for others who say it does, I think that you can often detect a brittleness and a hollowness to their more strident pronouncements and maybe a desire to be ‘in’ with their tribe.
Some of the prompting to blog was from a feeling of being suppressed by an inner voice that said ‘You can’t say that: what will people think?’ There were also voices from my then tribe (I don’t think I have a ‘tribe’ now) that seemed to be saying the same thing: ‘We all have our doubts; we just don’t talk about them- they are not helpful’.
I reckoned that many others both within and outside the house of faith (both those still wanting to hold on and those determined to walk away) felt likewise, but it was important to give voice to this and not to follow the crowd to hide the void within.
That was then: nearly 5 years out, I still feel pretty much the same. I could blog on many many other things and get worked up about them, but it wouldn’t really ‘mean’ anything: not even to me. Most of us like to put on our best self at all times, but in the end, life- and eventually death- gets us; to that end, I’ll still use these pages to attempt to be real.